Red
by pananana
Summary: Lonely. Confused. Stuck. Getting warmer. Boiling. Tipping over. Post 47 seconds and The Limey. Final chapter posted, and definitely deserves that M rating. Ready for Monday? This will help to wait.
1. Chapter 1

**A/n.  
**First fan fiction ever. It was floating in my mind and I just had to get it out.

**Disclaimer: **So not mine.

**Red**

Chapter 1.

There are days when you just feel that everything but you is moving forward. Total standstill. Confusion. Just stuck.

That is how Kate Beckett felt sitting in a dark corner of a random bar that night. Alone.

She had long since remedied her insane decision of accepting Hunt's invitation for drinks and sent him home. She had no idea why she had agreed in the first place. Perhaps loneliness and desperation and the need of some company, any company, had clouded her judgement for a second there. But alas, here she was, more alone than ever, not a soul in this shadowy bar was known to her.

She picked up her half full glass of red wine, took a sip and found it tasteless. Kate doubted anything could awaken her senses, even the flashy, expensive wines Castle kept mentioning here and there.

Castle. There was the root of her problem, of her standstill and confusion. The hows and the whys kept floating in her head. How had they gotten here? Why was he so cold and distant, flaunting the blondes in front of her face and keeping at least a ten foot radius around her?

While she had been working so hard at her own wall, his seemed to have grown into an unbreakable one in a second. She was so ready, so much more together, finally letting go, so _in love_ and admitting it to herself. _So_ close to telling him and suddenly the cold shoulder, cold look, cold everything.

Taking another sip of the bland wine, Kate Becket felt empty. Her spark was gone. She couldn't bring herself to feel. Her mind kept drawing blanks, no answers came forward. Damn it.

Another sip, no, a gulp of the alcoholic beverage seemed to finally move things forward. Warmth entered her body, blood starting to pulsate in her veins a little bit faster. Finally she could feel something.

But it was not what she expected. It started in her fingertips and sent tingling sparks up her arms, down her back, spread through the rest of her body, entered her mind and finally settled deep in her chest. Anger. Pure rage. Its flames licked her insides and burnt her skin. In mere milliseconds Kate Beckett was on fire.

This ends now.

Standing suddenly, she grabbed her coat and bag and dashed out of the bar into the darkened streets of New York. She had her destination in mind, finally knew which way she should be going. She started off in a walk but soon Beckett was running. Her heels echoed down the streets, her hair flew behind her. She was a woman on a mission.

In no time she was nearing the finish line. Just around the corner. Just another few houses...

She was almost at the door she sought when she heard the unmistakable sound of an expensive motor roaring down the road towards her. She stopped dead in her tracks. Red flashed in front of her and the Ferrari stopped a few dozen feet in front of her. Castle's Ferrari. Castle and that, that woman in the flashy car.

For just a second Kate though of running again, but the rage had taken over her. She had lost control of her wall, it was crumbling and cracking with the earthquake she was feeling at that moment.

Taking a few deliberate steps towards the car and yanking the passenger door open, Beckett barked in her most authoritative detective voice: "Get out of the car now! Run and don't come back!"

The blonde woman seeing the blazing eyes of the fury holding the door open for her scrambled out of the car and took off without a backwards glance. Castle barely managed to utter a "What the fuck, Beckett!" when Kate was already at his side of the car, yanking him out by the lapels of the ridiculous leather jacket, turning him around and pushing him harshly in the back. "Get in the passenger seat now, I am driving."

Castle, sensing her anger and knowing that she was packing heat, tripped over his feat, ran around the car and sank in to the seat. He started turning his body towards the enraged woman, but was slammed backwards into the leather, as Kate's foot was already pushing the pedal to the floor. The Ferrari roared loudly with tires squealing. It increased its speed rapidly and took off.

"I do not want to hear a word out of your mouth until I say so," Beckett muttered through gritted teeth.

Castle grabbed the seat-belt and strapped himself in. He stared forward, his fists clenched in his lap, both in fear of the fury sitting beside him and the fact that by the looks of things his wish of crashing the Ferrari might not be that far off.

_To be continued..._


	2. Chapter 2

**A/n.** And here is the 2nd chapter. Thanks to dear PenguinOfTroy for proof reading and helping with being stuck.

**Disclaimer.** Still not mine.

**Red**

Chapter 2

Richard Castle was contemplating his death. Or rather the way it would occur.

The situation that he was in at that moment gave him two possible options – by the gun of a furious Kate Beckett or by her crashing his Ferrari into the nearest obstacle.

The car crash seemed more likely judging by how said Detective was speeding through the darkened streets of New York.

He didn't know how she could look so together and so in turmoil at the same time. Despite the speed of the car, not a hair was out of place. Her face, though stony, was perfection. He simply could not deny that even now he found her irresistible. The white knuckles on the steering wheel and determined gaze never lingering from the street in front of her was a sign that only worse things were to come. Castle doubted there was a millimetre left in between the gas pedal and the floor of the vehicle.

It seemed his mind was going a mile a minute, matching the speed of the Ferrari. His thoughts jumbled in his head like the lights down the street melting into lines and making everything look fuzzy. Faster and faster emotions swirled and tangled in the mind of the man.

He did not know where to begin.

First and foremost the emotion coming forward was fear, if his sweating palms were any indication. His heart was hammering in his chest, both from the unexpected turn of events this evening and by the adrenaline rush that a powerful car going at top speed on a busy street could give you.

And her. He was scared of her.

What the hell is Beckett doing? He had never seen her this pissed off, not at him, not at a filthy criminal. He didn't even dare to glance at her. The warning to keep his mouth shut still echoed in his head. Her rigid posture, blazing eyes, pursed lips told him to sit still and wait it out.

Confusion was another one. He had no idea what had triggered Beckett to kick his date out of his own car, aggressively shove him in the back and tell him to not make a sound.

He had been polite, doing his job, avoiding any sort of personal contact with her, made himself scarce as soon as the day was over. She seemed fine when he left. So what the hell was her problem now?

Profanities started appearing in his head at rapid speed. Little sparks of fire shooting off in his brain.

What the fuck! Damn it to hell.

He had finally given her what she wanted, she did not care about him. She lied, she didn't speak up. She didn't give him any indication that she wanted more.

Hell, all the time and space he had given her to think it through, supporting her from the shadows, being her friend. Not pushing. Being patient for her. Waiting.

She _lied_.

Arrgh, he could feel the hurt and embarrassment flow through his body. Hurt from the deceit, embarrassment for being a fool in love. A foolish idiot thinking that she loved him back or at least was on her way there.

But no. Not the case. Not best day ever. Worst everything.

Kate Beckett had truly ripped his heart out and put her spiked heel through it.

He had never felt this broken, desperate and lonely. Not his first rejected works, cheating and gold digging wives, not even the bullet through Beckett's chest had made him feel like his life was over, every breath hurting, limbs not being able to support his aching being. The leather jackets, the blonde bimbo (yes, bimbo, even he admits it), the cheery facade, his damn Farrari that Beckett was putting through its paces at this very second, all for a show, to somehow ease the blinding pain.

It was impossible for him just leave. He had grown to love being an unofficial cop. He did not have a detective's tile, a badge or a gun, but working at the precinct, following the detectives and solving murders not only gave him inspiration, but made him believe that he was making a difference. Making the world a better, safer place. No, quitting was not an option.

But staying …

He winced, his brow furrowed. Swallowing hard he tried to stay still and not let his emotions boil over. But somehow the dangerous speed of the car made his body tingle with anticipation.

His fists clenched even harder. He worked his jaws together almost painfully. The off switch was slowly slipping out of his grasp like grains of sand and turning back to full on.

The indifference just did not seem possible any more. Castle clenched his teeth.

"Just hold it together, Rick," he muttered under his breath.

Why did he still have to love her with every fibre of his being? His mind, body and soul just refused to forget how impossibly perfect she was for him.

But she lied. To him. She did not care. She did not want his heart.

No.

But then what the hell was this? This woman sitting next to him. She seemed almost foreign. Her fury made her look like she was on fire. She looked downright possessed, and, oh my God, was she _jealous_? Why would she be? She did not care. His mind flashed with images of Beckett, her reactions to him, her smiles, her eyes, her body leaning close to his own. Had he been wrong?

"Stop it. She doesn't want you, she lied," Castle moved his lips inaudibly.

"Lies, all lies, but then why ..." his voice was trying to break through. The voice of reason, not the voice of hurt and anger. But the one that dug a bit deeper, and deeper still.

It started deeply in his chest, that first rumble.

"Stop."

Louder.

"Stop."

More force.

"Stop."

Steely, low growl.

"Stop the car, Kate."

_To be continued..._

**Reviews please.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/n.** Thank you for the reviews and alerts, warms my heart. And thank you again to my lovely editor Miss PoT. This is my first ever fan fic and I am having a blast. But I guess I have to thank the writers and fantastic actors for making me _live_ with and _feel_ the story and characters, so much so that the ideas floating in my head just had to get out.

**Red.**

Chapter 3.

She drove. Her fingers gripped the steering wheel in the tightest manner possible. So tight that it felt like the imprint of her palms will be forever etched into the steel and leather of it. Her palms were sweaty. Her body felt so attuned to the vibrations and hum of the powerful motor roaring behind the shiny red hood. The city zooming rapidly past her made her feel like she was in a tunnel isolating her from the surrounding environment. She seemed to be one with the motion. She felt like she had fused with the almost forceful roar of the machinery she somehow was capable of controlling. But herself?

No, she could not for the life of her control the out of control energy that had taken over her whole being. Fire, blazing inside. Kate Beckett almost could not recognize herself. Her fury had taken over her sensible, closed-off self. The rational side of her no longer drove her. No. This feeling made her feel reckless. God, she probably was melting the road under the car at the speed she was going. Her foot didn't seem to want to lessen the amount of pressure she was putting on the gas pedal. It was somehow exhilarating. Being reckless. Letting go. Turning on one of the most basic feelings there is – rage. Truthfully, it somehow made her feel free. This letting go of her buttoned-up persona. The stoic one. The one who did not let emotions show.

She could barely make out other cars, the traffic lights, pedestrians, she just saw the road ahead. It didn't matter where it was taking her. She just needed to feel the inferno. The red. To live it. Damn, it felt good. She was focusing on the anger and the road. She was not aware of anything else. Just her anger. The feeling of freedom it gave her. The speed.

"Stop."

It seemed to caress the very edges of her consciousness. Like a feather touching the ground. Barely there. So soft.

"Stop."

That sound started to resonate in her head. A little bit more forcefully. Like a bell you started hearing somewhere in the distance. But as it neared closer and closer, the ding to amplified.

"Stop."

Thunder in the distance. Counting the seconds when the lightning strikes. One … Two … Three … Four … Five … Six …

"Stop the car, Kate."

The lightning struck straight through her being.

She jerked forward. Be it fate, or luck, who knew. When she hit the brakes, the street was deserted, there were no other cars, no other people. Just the night – so dark. The city illuminating the darkness. The screech of the tires, piercing the relative quiet of the night time hustle like a whistle. It was like she had been dosed with ice cold water. The voice, the jerk, the sudden complete stop. The man. God, him. She came back to awareness.

She inhaled.

His chest still hurt where the seat belt had cut into his flesh with the sudden freeze of the car. He was sure that the bruise from the sudden pressure will be spectacular. The surrounding skin and muscle stung. He felt like he had been whipped.

From going a mile a minute to complete standstill.

She had heard him.

He felt dazed. Another shock. It seemed to be a night plentiful with those. The shocks. Might as well taser him. It would be the same thing.

He tried to take a breath, but even that was difficult. His body did not want to cooperate. His limbs felt numb, his heart was thumping erratically. Even though the car had stopped. The storm inside him just multiplied. Another attempt at breathing. But his lungs would just not cooperate. The air burned. Caught in his throat.

She had heard him.

He inhaled.

Whoosh. They exhaled. Even at a moment like this, they somehow managed to be in sync. Their bodies mirrored each others. Gazes straight ahead, muscles tense. Both shocked. Both stunned by the flash. Inhale. Exhale. In. Out. In. Out. Just a few more to let their poor, overwhelmed hearts and minds fuse with the silence that felt deafening now.

In. Out. And then they turned towards each other. Gazes locked. And held. No more evading. No more hiding and running. Just this moment in time, where two people who have gone to hell and back, held each others gaze and seemingly for the first time ever decided that this is it. The moment of truth.

"You are hurting me," one female and one male voice met in the middle and collided.

_Communication is key. To be continued ..._


	4. Chapter 4

**A/n.**I struggled to get this one out. Even though I knew where I wanted to take it. I kept stumbling over the words. I hope you will enjoy it anyway. Thank you all for the lovely reviews and alerts, I appreciate it more than you will ever know. And my dear Troy, I bow before your editing skills ;)

**Disclaimer.** Nah.

**Red**

Chapter 4

"_No!_ No, no, no! You do not get to say that Castle! You do not get to say that you are hurting. Really? How can you be hurting when you have the fun and the uncomplicated, huh? Just, NO!"

Kate forcefully released her seatbelt and wrenched the car door open. She jumped out like she was on fire and started to pace.

Back and forth, her feet kept a steady pace. Running her slender fingers through the locks of her hair, she took a breath and squeezed her palms deep into her eye sockets trying to ease the blinding tension. She tried to drag a bit more air into her lungs, to calm her thundering heart, but it just was not happening.

Even though Castle's sudden order to stop the car and the screech of the tires had momentarily stunned her, the anger was still there.

She could feel the build up coming.

She felt like she might throw up. Her tummy was in knots, she fisted her hands, but it was beyond that point where she could hold it in any longer.

She let out this inhuman growl and started stomping her spiked heels on the hard asphalt.

When she thought back to this moment sometime later in her life, she knew she probably looked utterly ridiculous, so out of character for Detective Katherine Beckett - having a childish tantrum. But then, there by the red Ferrari, she just wanted to let out all the frustration, confusion, hurt and anger that had seeped into her mind and heart over the last few weeks.

Castle was still sitting in the car. Eyes wide, mouth open, totally stunned! He had never seen Beckett lose it like this. She looked possessed, and he had to admit, still so damn hot, even in her rage, even if he was scared she might inflict bodily harm on him at any minute.

He slowly got out of the car, never taking his gaze of the furious woman, whose eyes were closed and teeth clenched while she was growling like a tigress. She was simply stunning.

He shuffled around the car and took hesitant steps towards her.

He couldn't decide whether he should approach her, call her name. Or just let her be.

"Be .. Beck... Beckett?' he stammered quietly.

He was a few feet in front of her. He tentatively stretched his arm closer towards her trying to touch her shoulder.

And that is where he made a mistake.

As soon as his fingers touched her it seemed electricity ran through her whole body, she jerked her eyes open, her lips parted … and she shoved him in the chest with both arms, hard.

"You don't listen Castle, I told you to shut up! Shut up till I tell you that you can talk."

Her eyes were blazing, cheeks flushing, she bit her lip and went straight up to him and shoved him again.

"Don't you ever dare to parade your stupid conquests in front of me again, do you hear me? Or brush me off, or ignore me when I am trying to talk to you, or keep your distance. I am tired of this bullshit and you are hurting me," she snarled.

"I … I have been trying so hard, to fix ME. And though it has been slow going, I am just so much closer. And you have to go and screw it all up! Why are you doing this to me? Huh? You are making me build up that damn wall, right when it was barely holding up any more. I thought you understood. And you go and become the fucking jackass with bimbos on each arm and those stupid leather jackets."

She fisted said jacket and held tight, squeezing herself impossibly closer to him.

Her whole body was taught as a piece of string on a violin, ready to snap at any given moment.

"Why Castle, why are you doing this to me? When I am ..."

"When WHAT Kate? HUH?"

Suddenly the tables were turned, Castle grabbed her wrists and held on tight, not letting her shove him any longer.

"When what? When you push me so far away from you, when you brush me off, and tell me you don't need me any more?" Castle muttered out through clenched teeth. His voice a low, threatening rumble.

"I heard you! I know that you remember every fucking second of your shooting. And I am the one who is hurting, because you do not want me."

His voice hitched, the last syllable, the sound breaking in his throat, despite the anger, the hurt was just too much.

"You heard me say that I loved you, and you sent me away. You. Sent. Me. Away. You have no idea what it feels like."

"Why did you come back? That big speech on the swings ... and you sat there knowing that I loved you," he could barely hold the tears at bay, his broken heart was squeezing his windpipe.

"I just ... I can't. I can't listen to you ranting, and your walls and your confusion. Because I do not understand. But maybe, I do. I am just not good enough for..."

Beckett hand shot up and covered his mouth muffling whatever he wanted to say next.

"SHUT UP! Will you ever listen to what I have to say? Stop interrupting me!" Kate looked into Castle's eyes and for the first time actually saw how much she had inadvertently hurt him.

"Oh god, I am so sorry. I am sorry Castle. I am sorry that I didn't tell you that I heard you, that I never forgot. I am not going to give you the reasons why, not now. That will come later, but now just shut up and listen hard."

Becket took a deep breath steeling her resolve to finally tell Castle what she had been hiding for so long.

"I don't know why, where and when it happened but I love you. Do you hear that? I love you like I have never loved anyone before. And I am sorry, but damn it, I thought you could read me like a book Castle. Do you really think after all this time, there is even a remote chance that I do not have feelings for you?"

She slowly let her hand drop down to her side. The moment dragged itself.

Castle stood there, frozen, not blinking. Just staring at Kate.

The odd pair of them. In a deserted street with the bright red Ferrari, both doors open after the hasty exit of its passengers.

They were standing so close, drinking each other in. Blue eyes met hazel. They stared. And then there was a change in the air, from the crackling heat of the rage that both of them had been feeling just moments ago, the hurt easing…

Kate Beckett slapped both of her hands in front of her mouth, her eyes widened. She drew in a ragged breath in her lungs.

And then she snorted. Uuhhh, even to her own ears it sounded ridiculously adorable.

Another little snort. It looked like someone was running fingers down her sides and she was trying so hard not to laugh.

A few seconds later tears were streaming down her flushed face, and she was laughing harder than she had ever done before. She clutched her tummy, leaning heavily against Castle's wide body, as she could barely stand. Her hair was trembling with every chuckle she let out, her eyes sparkled.

Next thing she knew, Castle's arms were wrapped around her, and he was silently shaking. Or was it her who was shaking, she couldn't tell. She could dimly hear Castle's deep laugh echo her higher, womanly one.

They stood there laughing for a while.

Neither felt the need to stop.

They just held each other and let the laugh ease the tension. It seeped out of their bodies, and a more peaceful feeling replaced the anger and the rage.

Castle held on tight and started to run his fingers through Beckett's hair. She slipped her palms down his chest and under his jacket and slid them to rest on his lower back. The mirth slowly died. They quieted down and just embraced.

"You are insane, Beckett." Castle whispered into her soft her. "But I can't stop loving you."

Kate melted deeper into his arms, snuggled in closer.

"And I can't stop loving you either, even though you drive me so mad. We can't keep going on like this, Rick. We truly do suck at communicating with each other. It has to stop, or it will break us. Whatever this is, or could be."

_More to come..._

_**P.S.** Please review! let me know what you think! Cheers and thanks!  
_


	5. Chapter 5

**A/n. **How odd, I never thought that I would enjoy writing much. I hated essays at school, and didn't like writing papers. I guess you just need something that inspires you enough to start it all off. I hope you are enjoying reading my words as much as I am enjoying delivering them to you. PoT, my beta. dave-ck, thank you for that one line.

**Disclaimer.** Eh, I wish.

**Red**

Chapter 5

The two people embracing in the middle of a dark, deserted street finally felt that they were at least somewhat on the same page where it came to their innermost feelings.

She, the beautiful Detective Kate Beckett. He, the ruggedly handsome best-selling author Richard Castle.

A cop and a writer.

An inspiration and the inspired.

Crime fighters, the dynamic duo.

Colleagues and friends.

But maybe tonight was the night when all that would become unimportant, so that romance and love could take centre stage.

Woman and man.

Kate and Rick.

They held each other tightly. It felt so liberating, intimate and exhilarating to finally be able to cling to each other. Feel the heat radiating from their bodies and seeping into their pores.

Kate ran her hands up and down Rick's back, feeling the muscles ripple under her fingertips. So powerful, yet so soft and yielding.

Rick combed his fingers through Kate's brunette locks. He inwardly thanked whoever was in power and made this evening one of revelations, because he had longed to feel the silky strands for so long.

The air in their lungs moved in and out in sync, the blood in their veins somehow kept a steady rush, making their hearts beat at the same pace. If it were possible they would melt together and become one being.

Not yet.

Kate drew a in a slow cleansing breath.

"Do you know a place where we wouldn't be interrupted? I need to sit down and let all that I have been holding in for so long come out into the open. You need that too, don't you?"

She lifted her head from that amazingly warm and oh-so-Castle spot where his neck met the line of his shoulder. She found his blue eyes with her hazel ones. While doing so she let the last pieces of her wall crumble at her feet and for the first time ever looked into Rick's eyes without hiding anything. Without a veil of fear, confusion, anger. She held her insecurities in check and just let herself feel.

Rick was mesmerised. He didn't think he had ever seen anything as clear and beautiful as Kate's eyes at that moment. Her gaze was blinding him. Like the brightest star in the sky it led him to her. It was simply amazing. Seeing her so unguarded. Finally. It elated him, he couldn't do anything else but match the intensity of her gaze.

"Yes, that is exactly what I need. What we need, Kate. Words. I've got so many of them, those that never see the light of day. Where would you like to go?"

"Do you think we could go to the loft? I have to confess, it has always made me feel at home." She hoped it was not too odd of a request, going back there.

"I don't mind. You are always welcome there, you know that. But Alexis and Mother will be there, most likely sleeping, and that does't comply with the 'no-interruptions' rule we so desperately need. I can't guarantee that we'll be left alone."

"The door to your office, does it have a lock? Do you think that could work as a do not disturb sign?" She asked hesitantly.

The corners of Rick's mouth lifted slightly, amusement shining through.

"Kate? Do not disturb, huh? But yeah. Yeah, that would work."

Kate moved her hands to rest lightly on Rick's chest, a silent apology for pushing him earlier.

She reluctantly moved her body away from his. Her hands lingered though, not wanting to lose the heat radiating from within him.

Rick placed his palms on top of hers, squeezed her fingers slightly. Her delicate, beautiful hands. To finally feel the slender digits. He laced their fingers together, not wanting to let go either, it felt so good to be able to be close to her.

"Do you mind if I drive, Kate? I want to take us home."

"No, yeah, of course. I am sorry. I hijacked your car." She gently placed the car keys in his warm palm winding her fingers around his.

Not letting go of her hand, Rick led Kate to the passenger side of the car. She eased herself into the soft leather. She reluctantly let go of his hand and instantly felt the loss of the heat. It made her shudder. But she was sure now, that she would feel that warmth again. Soon.

Meanwhile Rick ran around the car and settled behind the wheel.

The Ferrari came back to life. It seemed though, the purr of the motor had settled down, and was not as menacing as before.

The man eased the car back into the sparse night time traffic of New York city and retraced the erratic steps that they had already taken earlier that night. This time though, the speed was slow and easy. He was taking them home.

...

_**Reviews will make my day. Thanks in advance.**_


	6. Chapter 6

**A/n. **Thank you for reading and supporting. The imagination has been in a lull for a few days, but here is the next chapter of my story. Thanks PoT and Trinx. You rock.

**Disclaimer.** All yours Mr Marlowe. just borrowing for a little while.

**Red**  
Chapter 6

The drive back home was uneventful.

Even though they were yet to utter a single word the mutual silence wasn't awkward. They were past that.

Tonight's encounter seemed to have cleared the air, it was easier to breathe. The stiffness, the cold had stopped choking the life out of them both. It felt liberating.

The car glided smoothly into Castle's underground parking lot and took its usual place between two heavy killed the engine. They sat there for a moment, the sounds of the busy city silenced by the heavy walls of the building.

The couple opened the doors of the Ferrari in sync and stepped out. The slam of the doors reverberated across the space and soon the twin echo of their steps could be heard as they made their way towards the elevator.

Castle called for the lift and they stood there waiting while it arrived. The silence enclosing them was not uncomfortable. The knowledge that they were finally moving forward in their intricate relationship gave them courage and a peace of mind that all would be settled tonight. No more hiding, no more lies, no more evasion. Just a steady pace forward.

The elevator doors opened with a loud ding and the duo stepped inside. They stood close. Shoulders brushing, fingers coming closer sending electric sparks all over their bodies. The air was charged, but not with anger, fear or hurt, but rather the anticipation of finding a resolution, a mutual agreement, clearing all that was left to be said.

The lift stopped on Castle's floor, the doors slid open and they stepped out.

Kate led the way and Castle assumed his usual position behind her, but this time he was closer, a lot closer. His hand had taken its usual spot on her lower back, but his body needed only a little bit more to be fully pressed into her back and side. They could feel the heat spreading between them, even through the many layers of clothing acting as a barrier between them. He was so close he could smell the intoxicating scent of cherries whirling around from her hair. She could feel his breath swooshing and whispering against the skin of her cheek.

The spark that had always been between the two had grown many-a-fold since the heated talk they had had this evening.

Castle and Beckett reached the front door of his loft. The mahogany coloured door loomed in front of them. They both knew that when that door opened, a lot more would be revealed, things discussed and then the finale or maybe the beginning of a new era would come.

Rick fished out his home keys, slid them into the lock and with a flick of his wrist unlocked the door.

They stepped inside without hesitation.

Being the gentleman he helped her out of her coat and took off his own. He neatly put them in the hallway closet. Meanwhile Kate slid off her high heels feeling the need to let go of her hard-ass persona and just be the woman. Even though she lost a few inches of her height by doing that, she didn't feel like she had given away her resolve to finish what they had started tonight. She glanced over her shoulder where Rick was untying his shoelaces. Her eyes met his and they exchanged a gentle smile at the easy, domestic bliss they'd found themselves in.

The house was quiet. Alexis and Martha had long since gone to bed. The lights were dimmed, the gentle hum of the fridge was the only sound disturbing the nighttime silence.

Castle stood up, took a few deliberate, determined steps towards the woman that had imprinted in his heart so deeply.

He placed his fingertips on her upper arm and slid them down leaving a trail of heat on her sensitive skin. His fingers finding their destination laced together with hers.

He tugged her closer. She smoothly glided over to him, pulled by an invisible force that radiated from him.

Their chests gently connected.

Castle lifted his other arm and delicately traced the line of her jaw.

The air rushed out of their lungs in unison at the gentle touch. They gazed at each other with openness, so relieved that they did not have to hide their emotions any more.

Castle spun around and never letting go of Beckett's hand purposefully strode towards his office. He tugged her inside, shut the door behind him and flicked the lock closed. The do not disturb sign was up.

_The culmination is coming …_

**Leave a kind word in the review section. Pretty please!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/n. **Wow, the longest chapter yet. And it just seemed to flow out of my mind. What a relief. I loved writing this one! Thank you dearest Troy for master editing and those connectors there! And Trinx for support and opinions. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer.** They are all mine! …. not.

**Red**  
Chapter 7

Warm palms pressing together. Thick manly fingers holding smaller, more delicate ones tightly, but with gentleness seeping through. They stood facing each other. A silent question of what next simmering in their eyes. Moments like these, when you know that everything will be put on the table, all cards revealed, hearts unlocked and bared for all to see … They tend to be both nervous and exciting. The butterflies in the stomach, the anticipation.

They both knew that this was the moment of truth, there was no going back now. No place where to hide, bury secrets deeper. The shadowy office of the writer. Nighttime New York. Two people who had finally admitted their mutual love now needed to clear the air, dot all the I's, strike all the T's, remove all the obstacles that kept them from diving in at the deep end of the pool and never getting out.

The dark, soft leather of the couch was calling their names. They moved towards it in unison and sank down, their bodies moulding into the cushions. They sat close. Close enough to feel the heat between them, the electricity surging, feel each others bodies move with each inhale and exhale. Their hands remained clasped together, neither unwilling to let go even for a moment. Somehow Rick and Kate had decided that no matter what their hands shall stay linked throughout what was yet to come.

It was time for confessions.

–

Kate tilted her head to the side, a sigh escaped her lips. She cast a glance at their linked hands. Her eyes lingered there for a moment and then rose to look in the deep blue orbs of the man sitting next to her. Her smile was hesitant, just a lift of the corners of her mouth. She squeezed his fingers and with courage she never knew she had when it came to the matters of the heart parted her lips and breathed out:

"I'm sorry Rick. I feel like I need to say this again. How sorry I am for hurting you. It never really was my intention. I've never been good at this, this stuff, the personal things. I don't think even before my mom's death I was ever an open book, what happened just fuelled my insecurities and I just locked myself behind these walls. I hate them, you have no idea how much. They have always been so debilitating. But I haven't been able to deal with the issues that have been plaguing me for as long as I remember. Not even a clue how to fix myself, but I suppose I never really wanted to hard enough."

A slight chill passed through her body. Kate gripped his fingers tighter in preparation of what was yet to come.

"'Til the shooting. 'Til your words. If it wasn't for those words, I don't think I would be sitting here tonight. I would have given up, it would have been an easy way out. But at that moment, through all the pain, the fear, the haze that was rapidly taking over my whole body, your words were louder than the blast of the rifle. And the look in your eyes, oh god, your eyes that have always been so full of life, they seemed to be dying with me. Even as the blackness took over me, I knew I had to fight to come back and make your eyes live again."

Castle sat there unmoving, barely breathing, the memories of that day were etched into his brain, never to be forgotten. At that moment he thanked all and every god and Kate herself that she had held on and came back to him. He clasped her hand relishing in the warmth of her skin. He knew he should not interrupt her confession, so he just held her gaze and listened. And tried to hold in the hitch in his breath and the tears that were brimming in his eyes.

"When I woke up … I don't think I will ever forget that first conscious breath of air that I took," she breathed in, reliving the sensation. "The pain with it was unbearable, the weight on my chest felt like a thousand ton building was squeezing the life out of me. But somehow I had never felt so alive. I dunno, realising that I had survived? Perhaps. But knowing that you loved me? I have no words to describe how that felt. For a few seconds I believed that everything was finally at a turning point for the better.

"Then reality came crashing down. Montgomery. Funeral. Sniper. Conspiracy. Josh. My fucked up self. All my issues just overtook my mind. I knew at that point in time that I could not face you before I had fixed whatever was broken in my life. All of it. So many reasons, and most of them foolish and selfish made me push you away. At the same time I wanted to protect you … from seeing me broken, in pain, from Josh, from my mother's case. I told you to leave me alone so I could figure out how to make myself good enough for you.

"As soon as you left the hospital room, I thanked Josh for operating on me and told him that we were done. I had known for a while that relationship was not going anywhere, my heart belonged to someone else, had for quite a while, but be it circumstance, bad luck, cowardice, I just hadn't ended it.

"When that was out of the way I decided to concentrate on the physical recovery my body needed. It was so tough, Rick. My dad, he is a hero. He took it so well, my mood swings, my anger, my loneliness. I know I definitely drove him up the wall so many times during my stay at the cabin. I did the physio and the mandatory psych evaluation. Those months, they dragged for so long, despite that I couldn't yet face the reality of the real world."

Kate paused there. She felt emotionally drained, recalling the events that took all those months ago. And even though it was not the easiest thing to do – the honesty, the openness – with each word that spilled out her body, her mind and heart lightened.

"Coming back was difficult. The cabin was like a lonely island, lonely, but safe, no interruptions, no contact, no facing the truths out there. I don't know if coming back at that time was the right decision, I probably was not hundred percent ready both physically and emotionally, but I somehow knew that I couldn't stay away any longer. I needed to face the world, myself, my friends and colleagues and most importantly you.

"The dead end with the case, the new Captain, her not giving me my gun back, and the absence of you in the precinct were big blows. It was tough. I knew I needed to really invest in fixing all the the broken things. Our talk on the swings? Thanks for that, Rick. For staying and listening, I know now how hard it must have been for you, after me abandoning you for the summer. Those first few days back showed me that I couldn't overcome my issues alone, than I needed help, but I also knew that I couldn't turn to you for help just yet. So I went back to the shrink that did the psych eval after the shooting. I have been going there ever since."

Castle's eyes widened at that. A shrink? He did not see that one coming at all. He couldn't imagine the fiercely in independent Kate Beckett seeking out help voluntary. That revelation floored him. He finally started to see how much she really was ready do to make this work. It amazed him. He squeezed her fingers silently urging her to continue.

"Dr Burke. It hasn't been plain sailing, believe me. But somehow he just knows how to push me, how to ask the right questions that I wouldn't dare ask myself. Each session has been an eye opener. I have ranted and cried in that office, and finally faced myself. One step at a time, and yeah, sometimes two steps back as well. I'm definitely complicated. The PTSD, a lot of steps in the wrong direction there. That one was a difficult one to swallow, because it seemed so permanent. When the panic pulled me under, like during that sniper case, every little detail just amplifies. I almost cracked under the pressure. I told the doc to go to hell and got so drunk I cut my arm on shreds of glass, gripping my gun like a lunatic, every sound and flash of light making me jump out of my skin."

She closed her eyes tightly, regretful. Then just as suddenly snapped them open knowing that she couldn't stop now.

"All the progress I'd made up to that point just flew out of the window. I know you could see me struggling, and the space you gave me, the silent support, and Javi, did you know he forced me to hold the rifle that shot me? I wanted to kill him, but I needed that, it pulled me out of a very deep hole. The PTSD is not gone, far from it. There are days that are worse than others, but so many are brighter and better.

"It has been hard work, Rick, analysing my feelings and seeing my faults, facing my fears and insecurities. It has been worth it though, and I have to thank you for that, because you are the one who pushed me, encouraged me, loved me. I am doing this for you, but now I know that most importantly I am doing this for ME and for US.

"That's why these last few weeks have been hell for me. The change in you. It was so sudden and I had no idea where all of it was coming from. It hurt, Rick, so bad. The coldness, the distance, the indifference, the bimbos … I just … It was killing me slowly, because I had lost you and had no clue why. I thought you were waiting for me.

"I guess I took you for granted. I have been focusing too much on my own solitary progress that I have forgotten that you are in this relationship as well. The unspoken one that has been sizzling between us for years. I left you behind and didn't really give you much to go on, did I? Looking back, maybe I should have done things differently, but these are the choices I made, and here we are now. And despite all the anger and hurt that has been ripping me apart, I'm incapable of stopping loving you. That is just not an option anymore. You are my one and done, and there never will be anyone else taking that spot. I want you. I love you, Richard Castle."

With that Kate was done. She took a deep, shuddering breath and locked her eyes with Rick's. The amount of emotions swirling in there was astounding. Shock and disbelief mixed with acceptance and relief. And most importantly she could finally see love in those blue orbs.

_Who's next ..._

**Review please. Thanks in advance! xx**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/n. **Dear readers. First things first. OMG the promos. Next Monday shall bring the Castledom to its knees. I think my jaw dropped too many times, eyes popped out of my sockets and I cursed all day. Secondly, thank you, dear reader, for following this story. It has been interesting to write the chapter you are about to read. Male perspective and all. Please enjoy! PenguinOfTroy, forever awesome. Trinxy, forever supportive.

**Disclaimer. **Castle and Beckett sitting in a tree K.I.S.S.I.N.G. Not mine.

**Red**

Chapter 8

He took in her shining eyes, heard her trembling breath, felt the heat of her palm against his. The catharsis she had just lived through, her truths, her innermost fears. It made his heart both constrict in empathy and burst with happiness. She loved him. HIM. It was almost too much to take in. Even though he already heard her admission earlier that night, he knew that her confession had profoundly changed him forever. She loved him.

He needed a moment to take it all in. A moment to gain courage to bare his soul in front of her, as she just did with him. Tit for tat. He knew he had to man up and do it. It was only fair. He needed to place all his cards on the table. And that scared him, because he knew that his darkest secret needed to come out as well. And he could only hope that he wouldn't lose.

Rick squeezed her hand gently, thanking her. He looked into her eyes and wanted to drown in them. But not yet. Now it was his turn. He took a deep, shuddering breath and started to talk.

"You have no idea, Kate, how you have impacted my whole existence and I hope by the time I've finished my share of soul baring, you'll understand.

When I first met you I was a mess, only half the man. My writer's block was only part of the problem. My life was an empty shell, my days consisted of public appearances, drinking, women and all the lowly activities that your regular playboy would get involved in. But all that was for show. That wasn't me, but it was the only way how I could pass my days. I was bored out of my mind, uninspired, barely existing. The only time when I felt more like myself was when I was with Alexis. But the lifestyle - I think it was slowly killing me.

And then you crashed my party. That moment was a turning point. In front of me stood this woman, no nonsense, tough as nails, so hot and would not take my shit! I was stunned. At first I wanted to get into your pants, any hot-blooded man would. But that was a momentary thing because you were real, too real. I was intrigued and awed by you. You took my antics in a stride and threw them right back at me. You had a hard job and your own demons to slay. I wanted to know what Kate Beckett was made off. Extraordinary."

She holds on to every word that is floating past his lips. It takes her back to that hotel room in LA, reminds her of the talk they had then. She urges him to continue with a slight nod of her head.

"And the work? Even though I love being a writer, helping you solve murders, bringing justice to the victims and closure to their families has given me a chance to make the world a better place. It makes me feel like I'm making a difference. That why despite my broken heart I haven't been able just to pack up and leave. The work has become a big part of my life.

He exhaled and paused. Played with her fingers a little bit. Stalling.

"You know how they say that time flies when you are having fun? That first year, it flew by. Nikki came to life, I was on a roll. I was following around actual detectives with real guns, solving actual crimes, spent my days pulling your pigtails. And slowly but surely, and at first without my knowledge, I was starting to fall in love with you. Even then.

I think I first realised that you meant more to me than just being a fantastic muse when I saw how much I'd hurt you after dragging your mum's case out in the open. Your pain was my fault and I needed to fix it because I cared. I vowed to myself that I would do my best to erase that hurt. I wanted to stand by your side and give YOU closure."

He lifted his hand and fingered a strand of her hair. His touch was delicate and held so much emotion. His hand dropped back into his lap as he continued his story.

"I felt like we were at a good place. Doing the work, teasing and flirting, pushing each others buttons. Then Demming entered the picture. You were smitten and I wanted to punch his lights out. But all I ever wanted was for you to be happy so I bowed out and left. Gina, she was a distraction and a slave driver. Nothing more to it really. She made me finish the book and kept me company. We both knew that nothing would ever become of it. I missed you, I missed the precinct. But I couldn't call. I'll be forever grateful that the money forgery case brought us back together, even if you pointed your gun at me and arrested me twice! But I did win the bet, so I'd earned my place back by your side."

He noticed she had a twinkle in her eyes and the corners of her mouth lifted slightly. He briefly wondered what that was all about, but shrugged it off. He will have to ask her about that sometime.

"And then Bachelor number 2 or is that 3? I felt like you were parading him in front of me on purpose and I knew I couldn't complain because I was with Gina. It was time to finish it with her, because she was not what I wanted, she was not extraordinary and she definitely was not magic. That time was so odd, there were many moments where I felt we were getting closer, the near death experiences, 3XK, the freezer, the bomb. And the kiss. That kiss gave me hope despite Josh's interference every single time I wanted to say something. I wanted to kiss you so bad in LA, sitting on that sofa. You were so beautiful and we'd just had a rare honest conversation between us, but it was not the right time. I knew that."

They both knew what was coming next. Rick braced himself. Kate held onto his hand tighter in anticipation of hearing what he went through during and after her shooting.

"The case, the fight, it's over, Montgomery, funeral, a flare of light and then you dying in my arms."

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment.

"I … I have no words to describe the despair I felt. I was dying with you, my heart was bleeding with yours, because you ARE my heart. I'm sorry, I can't … I can't relive that."

Silent tears were pooling in his eyes, he tried to swallow the lump in his throat. At that moment she wanted to throw her arms around him and never let him go. But there were more things to be said, she knew. So she relented in sandwiching his hand between both of hers and hoped that for the time being it would be enough.

"I was so grateful, so relieved that you pulled through and despite that I hate that doctor's guts I'll forever be in debt with him for saving your life.

You didn't remember. I suppose my timing wasn't the best, so I accepted you told me you'd call and never did. I waited. For days, for weeks. I threw myself into looking for the sniper. Then Gates kicked me out. Gina and Paula were breathing down my neck so I finished the book. And I continued to hope that the phone would ring and you'd be on the other end. With every passing minute my anger and hurt multiplied. You have no idea how much I wanted to be there with you … for you. But you shut me out. And then showed up at the book signing out of the blue, looking so beautiful, you took my breath away. But I was so pissed off at you."

Kate hung her head in shame and empathy. The curtain of her hair hid her face. Rick tucked the strands behind her ear and made her look into this eyes assuring her that he was past that.

"I knew you wanted space and time. So I gave it to you. I toned down the teasing and the flirting and just tried to give you as much time as you needed while everyday I wished I could grab you, kiss you, love you, hold you and never let go. I tried to be patient and pacify myself with the fact that you didn't remember those three little words and that perhaps in time you'd recall the shooting. At times I had my doubts and thought that you weren't giving me the whole truth. But I shrugged it off. Looking back, I suppose it was cowardly of me, maybe I should have approached you again. I dunno.

He shrugged.

"The bombing - that one threw me totally. I realised how much one could lose in a blink of a second. At that moment I was done. I knew I had to talk to you, to tell you how I felt and where I wanted all of this to go. But something or someone was always interrupting.

I brought you your caffeine fix, left it on your desk. Espo said you were interrogating the suspect, so I thought I'd observe.

You remembered every second of it. That felt like a punch through the gut, no, a stab straight through my heart. I couldn't understand why you would lie. But the ease how you breathed it out to that guy and yet couldn't tell me … You just didn't want me. Didn't care. Didn't love me. So I ran."

The recollection of that time made him shudder.

"But I couldn't quit, the work is just too important. So I decided to switch my feelings off. Easier said than done. My behaviour was inexcusable. I need to apologize, Kate. You didn't deserve the way I treated you. I just couldn't confront you which I should have done in the first place. But my kneejerk instinct took over me. I wanted to erase you from my heart. So I distanced myself and did some idiotic things that I'm not proud of. The car, the woman, the jackets, the cockiness, the cold shoulder. I admit I wanted to punish you. And I am sorry. All of those things were just ways how my idiotic heart tried to put together its broken pieces. But I promise you, all of that was just a distraction. I didn't sleep with that woman, I couldn't even kiss her. You are the only woman for me, Kate Beckett. No one can replace you. You are perfect for me. I love you."

Rick reached over and slid his fingers along her cheekbone relishing on the feel of her soft skin. He shifted closer to her, their faces inches apart breathing the same air. He could feel her tremble underneath his fingertips. Her lips parted and a nervous puff of air escaped. Their gazes locked and held. The heat rose considerably between them. His fingers traveled to gently cup the back of her skull bringing them even closer together. Kate whose hand now rested on the side of his neck could feel the steady rhythm of Rick's pulse under her palm.

"You are so beautiful," his whisper was barely audible. "And I love you so much. But before we do this, there is one thing left that I need to tell you."

He stood up and pulled her up with him, their hands still clasped together. He walked over to his desk, pulled open a side drawer and slid out a small, inconspicuous looking remote. He gently placed it in her palm.

"Push it."

She fingered the little power button on the remote. She had an inkling where this was going. Kate looked down at the little device and then back into his eyes which were filled with dread and apprehension.

She pushed the button. The screen previously unnoticed sitting in the corner of Rick's study came to life and a large photo of her own face stared back at her.

_To be continued …_

**I want to know what you thought!**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/n.** And here is the final chapter. Fair warning. It definitely is M rated. I hope you have enjoyed my story as much as I have had a pleasure writing it. Thank you to my wonderful and insightful betas PenguinOfTroy, Trinxy and Dave-ck. Is it Monday yet?

**Disclaimer.** Thank you, Mr Marlowe and Terri for creating them. I want Monday now!

**Red**

Chapter 9

The sharp intake of her breath resonated in the room. Rick's fingers tightened around hers almost to the point of pain. He feared she would let go of his hand. She took a few hesitant steps towards the murder board and stopped right in front of it. Her palm remained in his. A lifeline. For both of them.

She stood there for a few heartbeats, lifted her hand and with a swipe of her fingertip shocked the murder board to life. Rick could see the reflection of it in her eyes that were rapidly taking in all the information that he had gathered. Her expression changed at a rapid pace. Shock, surprise, inquiry, confusion. Her soft lips moved silently going over the facts, a perfect eyebrow rose, she didn't even blink. Her delicate fingers traced the photos, the letters and the numbers. Her gaze lingered on the photo of her mother and a heavy sigh escaped from her lips.

Time dragged for him at a snail's pace, though probably it didn't take her very long to skim over the information laid out before her. When she was done she lowered her arm and turned towards him. Her gaze was guarded. He couldn't tell if she was angry or hurt. When their eyes connected the silent plea for an explanation was evident in her green orbs.

"A man contacted me when you came back to work after your shooting, telling me that I had to keep you away from investigating it or else the next bullet would not miss. Montgomery had forwarded him some files that held information valuable enough to keep you alive, but you had to step back and let it go. Mr Smith is the name, but I don't know much about him. That is why I asked you to stop digging … for now. I had to protect you, seeing you hurt again will finish me. I can't experience anything like that ever again." He closed his eyes for a brief second, pushing back the memories of the event.

"After our talk on the swings .. I knew you needed closure. And the wall, I want that wall gone so badly. I want to help you knock it all down. You said yourself, you need to know who is behind all of this. But the warning mr Smith gave me was loud and clear. Either you stay away from the investigation or they put another bullet in you, and this time they'll make sure they don't miss. So I convinced you to let it rest for now. I decided that I would continue investigating in the shadows. I have been gathering information here and there. Little tidbits. It's not much and it is definitely not enough to bring them down. Just a few small steps closer to whoever is behind all of this." He ended his monologue and turned his face from the screen face her.

She took in all that he was saying. She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and bit down.

"Why didn't you tell me, Rick?" The lack of anger in her voice surprised him.

He sighed. "At first, you just were not ready. If I'd told you when you came back to work, you would have just jumped right in and there would have been no way of pulling you back. You were to vulnerable and I couldn't let you go down that rabbit hole again. I know how much you want the bastards to pay, but I simply can't let you do it when it would most likely kill you. Why I've kept it to myself all this time? To protect you. I can't lose you. No matter what." He applied gentle pressure of reassurance to her fingers.

"I thought you'd be angry, Kate, for keeping this a secret," his tone was hesitant.

She shrugged and answered "Honestly, I just don't have it in me anymore. Anger, I'm all out of that. I … I understand where you're coming from, and I understand your reasons, Rick." She squeezed her fingers around his hand tighter, pleading for him to understand. "From now on though, no more secrets. I promise not to jump into things, but you tell me everything there is to know. We do this together." She paused and continued in a low voice, almost a whisper, "I know we will put it to rest. With time."

"Thank you, Kate," he sighed in relief.

She looked down at the tiny remote in her hand, pointed it at the murder board and with a click shut it off.

The darkened screen signified the finishing touch to their mutual catharsis.

She raised her eyes to meet his, deep green meeting blue. Their eyes spoke volumes. They both knew that the moment they had been craving for so long, since the very beginning if they were being truly honest, had finally arrived. The heat and electricity flowing between them was almost tangible. The air rose in temperature.

Even though the only contact they had with each other was through their clasped hands, it was enough to set their skin on fire. Rick pulled her closer. She came willingly. Their breathing quickened in unison. The close proximity increased their heartbeats and they could feel blood surging faster through their veins.

Rick placed his warm hand on her hip and slid it around to settle on her lower back. The move brought them a lot closer. Feeling the contours of her body under his fingertips elated him.

Finally.

He was touching her.

Even this small amount of contact through layers of clothing was enough for his groin to tighten and skin to flush. He felt her tremble. The faint vibration made his mind spin. The hitch in her breath was a sign that she was affected by this just as much. The faint smell of her shampoo - or was it the body lotion - entered his senses. He buried his face in her hair inhaling deeply. Her scent, her heat, the feel of her body replaced any other rational thought in his mind.

She was intoxicating. Like a drug, the best drug a man could ever get his hands on.

Kate could feel his warm breath tickling her neck and the sensitive area behind her ear. Goosebumps rose on her body sending a tremble down through her arms and legs. He was smelling her, she knew. She tilted her head to give him more access which he readily used sliding his nose from behind her ear down to her collarbone inhaling deeply.

She didn't even know when her palm had landed on his chest. The firm muscles felt wonderful, so strong and powerful. She could feel his stubble scrape her neck. The sensation sent a signal straight to her fingers which grasped his shirt firmly as she needed to ground herself somehow. She doubted she had ever felt like this. No man had ever made her tremble with need.

They let go of their clasped hands simultaneously. They no longer needed that connection as they had cleared all the obstacles keeping them apart. It was time to let their hands touch, feel and explore. Hers went to the back of his neck, his tangled in the locks of her hair. He reluctantly pulled his face away from that sweet, warm spot where her neck met the shoulder and lifted his head to reconnect his gaze with hers. The smouldering heat radiating from from their eyes shocked them both. But the love shining though, finally out in the open, undid them. An invisible force pulled their faces closer together. Breaths mingled, eyes slid shut in unison.

No going back now.

They froze when their lips were about to touch, parted, panting. So close. They just needed a second. A pause to deliberate and remember the before and the after.

The lightest touch of their lips and they were gone.

That first initial spark, that first contact was all that was needed for the floodgates to open. A deep guttural moan reverberated from Rick's chest and he planted his mouth over hers. She moaned, pressed herself impossibly closer and ran her tongue across his bottom lip. He captured her bottom lip with his teeth nipping lightly and soothed the sore by taking the offended lip between his and sucking on it.

They sighed as if a heavy weight had been lifted off their shoulders.

Their mouths fought for dominance but somehow it worked. Tongues slid against each other, lips pulled and tugged. His hand sneaked its way under her sweater. He dragged his fingertips up and down the smooth planes of her back. She arched her back under his touch but never let go of his mouth that was currently stealing all her air. But she couldn't care less. The lack of oxygen made her dizzy, his mouth made her weak in the knees, his hands spread lava wherever they touched her. She'd longed to run her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck for so long and now she was finally doing it. She scratched his scalp and felt him shiver.

"More," she breathed into his mouth.

His response was instant. He tightened the hold on her waist and lifted her up. Her legs went around his hips instinctively placing her right on top of his hardness. He spun them around and slammed her body against the door of the study never stopping, devouring and exploring every corner of her mouth. She couldn't believe that the growl came from her. She sounded almost animalistic. Her arms were now wrapped tightly around his neck and their hips started creating a rhythm of their own.

He couldn't believe they were still fully clothed. That had to be remedied this instant. He needed to feel her skin under his fingertips. Needed her bare against him. He pinned her to the door with his lower body and slid both of his arms under her sweater raising it upwards and revealing the smooth expanse of her stomach. Her muscles tensed under his hands.

He gave her a small peck and let go of her lips. The loss of contact was almost painful.

They took in gulps of oxygen.

He grabbed the hem of the sweater and yanked it upwards over her head dislodging her arms from around his neck. The garment soared through the air and landed somewhere behind him while her hair tumbled down her shoulders in soft waves. Rick couldn't tear his eyes from her. She was perfect. The muted light of the study cast shadows across her features while illuminating her eyes. He saw the desire and love shining through.

"You are stunning, absolutely stunning, I've never in my life seen anyone as perfect as you, Kate", he confessed.

He simply couldn't believe that there she was, pinned against the door of his office, with fire in her eyes, her chest heaving with laboured breathing their kissing had created, with her legs wrapped tightly around his hips and her hot center radiating heat over his hardness.

He leaned back slightly and slowly slid his gaze down her exquisite long neck, over the delicate line of her collarbone, down the front of her chest. The bra covering her breasts was black, smooth and shiny. His fingers itched to free her from it.

And then he saw it. The place where the bullet had entered her body. He put his arms under her ass and lifted her higher. He leaned forward and placed his ear over her heart and listened to its frantic beat for a few moments relishing in the sound, reaffirming her being alive.

"I'm here, Rick, with you, right here, and I'm never leaving," she whispered while stroking the side of his face. She felt his jaw slide against her sensitive skin and then his lips placed a gentle kiss on the scar tissue. He stayed there for a second and suddenly she felt him bite the side of her right breast gently, he soothed the pain with a lick of his tongue and then pulled a generous amount of skin in his mouth and sucked.

"Are you giving me a hickey, Richard Castle?" Her laughter echoed around them. She felt his answering grin against her breast.

His fingers maped her ribs, making her gasp. They traveled across her side and around to the middle of her back where he nimbly undid the clasp of her bra and then slid a strap down her shoulder. He removed the bra and it joined her sweater on the floor somewhere. His mouth found its new target instantly, warm lips wrapped around her nipple and tugged. She threw her head back and moaned, electricity sparked from the tip of her breast straight to her core. Dampness pooled in her underwear, and she thrust her hips against his. He sucked and pulled, teased her sensitive flesh until she was thrashing against him needily. Her hands roamed his wide shoulders and tugged at his shirt, silently begging to feel his heated flesh. She dragged his head up towards her mouth and kissed him with all that she was worth. Their mutual groans, sighs and the wet noises of their mouths dancing together filled the room.

"Please," she begged right into his mouth. "Please, less clothing. I need you."

The kiss he gave her then was tender and slow. Rick eased her legs down, so she was standing again. He traced the line of her cheek with his lips and whispered, "Follow me."

He laced his fingers through hers and started walking backwards while placing open mouthed kisses on her cheek, behind her ear, tasted the pulse on her neck. His steps were deliberate and sure. He knew where he was going. He was drawing circles on her bare back. Up and down, creating intricate patterns. She loved his hands and now the tools of his trade were writing on her skin.

Her fingers were busy trying to unbutton his shirt. Not an easy task as the high coursing through her made her feel sluggish. She managed to get the damn shirt open and finally her hands could slide over the tightness of his chest and stomach.

She dragged her nails over his pectorals. The slight stumble in his steps made her grin. He was so wide and manly, she moved up to his shoulders and slid the shirt down his arms smoothing over the muscles and tendons until she passed his hands and fingers. The shirt soon pooled on the floor forgotten under their feet. Their upper bodies glued themselves together. Her breasts flattened against his broad chest while one of his hands slid up to pull at her hair and the other to palm her ass.

His knowledge of the layout of his home brought them to the entry of his bedroom. The dimmed light of his study only partly penetrated the darkness the room that lay beyond. Rick continued walking, they stepped over the threshold and were soon engulfed in the darkness which only enhanced their senses. The sounds coming deep from within them seemed a lot louder now, the touches smoldering, the kisses deeper. The air was vibrating around them.

They reached for each others belts at the same time, the movements quick and efficient, knowing their target was just out of reach.

He was faster. He worked the zipper of her pants down, his knuckles pressing intimately into her. He could feel the heat radiating from her most intimate of places. He traced the edge of her underwear and slid a finger just underneath, her muscles tensed and she took a shaky breath.

The anticipation was killing her. His movements distracted her to the point of almost forgetting her own task of getting him out of his clothes. But the hardness pressing against her hand jolted her back to awareness and she resumed on working open his belt and the button of his pants. As soon as there was enough room she plunged her hand inside and wrapped it around his erection. He gasped and growled into her mouth. The sensation of her delicate hand on him almost undid him. He roughly pulled her roaming fingers away, eased first hers and then his own pants down, taking their underwear with them.

Time stood still. Finally no barriers between them. No secrets, no lies, no flimsy pieces of fabric. Just love, desire, need.

In a blink of an eye they were back on each other. Mouths connected, hands caressed flushed skin. Bodies molded together slick with perspiration, a hot blaze surrounded the two.

Rick lowered her delicately on his bed. Her head hit a soft pillow and the cool sheets underneath shocked her inflamed, sensitive skin. But only momentarily as mere seconds later his body followed and settled on top of hers.

He trailed a row of kisses and nibbles down her neck, her collarbone, bit her nipples. His tongue left a slick line across her abdomen and damn him, he left another hickey on her hip. She bit her lip trying to hold in a bubble of laughter. The giggle died in her throat when she felt his fingers slide between her thighs and apply pressure to her bundle of nerves. Her eyes slid shut and a deep moan escaped through her lips. She bucked her hips upwards seeking more contact.

He couldn't think. He could smell her, could feel her wetness on his fingers, could feel her quivering under his touch. He wanted to taste her so badly. But next thing he knew, her hand had stilled his fingers and was dragging it up her body. He followed willingly slightly confused.

"Plenty opportunities for that later, Rick," she breathed. "Now I need you to make love to me."

His body pressed her deeper into the soft bed underneath her back, his breath whispered against her parted lips. She tried to catch his mouth with her own, but he evaded her skillfully and moved to scrape his teeth across the line of her jaw.

She moaned.

He was twisting and applying pressure to her nipple making her push her breast into his hand. He followed the smooth line of her side, skimmed his fingertips over her hipbone, palmed her slender, quivering thigh. Hooking his fingers behind her knee he urged her to move her leg up and around his hip. She placed her heel on his backside and pulled him in. He sank without hesitation. His erection pressed intimately against her dripping core. They groaned at the same time. His hands slid under her hips and applied pressure grinding their bodies together.

She wound her arms around his neck and pulled him in for a searing kiss. She nibbled on his cheek, loving the feel of his rough stubble against her lapping tongue, grazed the outline of his ear with her lips.

"Now, please, Rick. Now. I love you. I need you. Now," her plea penetrated his brain loud and clear.

That last syllable had barely left her lips when he was already rising her other leg over his hip. He rose up on his elbows, looked deeply into her eyes that shined full with love and lust in the darkness of his bedroom. He finally had her where he wanted her. After all this time.

Rick positioned himself at the entry of her slick folds and with a heated "I love you, Kate" slid inside.

What followed next was almost too difficult to describe.

The profound sense of fulfillment and contentment took over. Her tightness engulfed him. His hardness put pressure on all the right places. They completed each other.

They both knew they were not going to last long this very first time. Their lovemaking was fast and passionate. The world around them ceased to exist. It was just the two of them, their love and their connection. There was no stopping now, most basic of needs took over and the speed increased. Tension was building with every thrust, muscles tightened in anticipation, getting ready for that final release of energy. Her legs tightened their hold around his hips, her back arched in preparation. Their lips brushed frantically, incapable to fully latch on, but it was enough, the slight brushes, the deep moans and pants mingling.

She could feel impossible heat building at the base of her belly and spine. Her vision blackened and it became difficult to suck in air.

"Please, please, more …," she rasped.

One more hard thrust and she was soaring. Her nails dug into his back and she clung to him for dear life. Stars exploded behind her eyelids. She was gone.

As soon as he felt her muscles clench around him in her ecstasy, he was done. His conscious mind left him and all that was left was the feel of them joined intimately and disappearing into the abyss of pleasure.

Minutes or was it hours later, they lay tangled in the sheets of his bed spent. He was on his back, she was glued to his side with her head resting on his shoulder. Their limbs tangled together fitting perfectly, fingers stroked bare skin gently, soothing and calming.

They were at peace. All that had been there to be confessed and revealed was left behind them. A new beginning, new challenges, more stories to be told lay in the future.

Except there was one difference.

They would do it together now.

The end.

_**End notes. I have had so much fun writing this. Seeing how this was the first time I've written any kind of story, especially fan fiction, it has been very exciting and interesting to be on the other side of the fence (as in – the writer, not the reader). The story of this Tv show is inspirational enough to bring out the writer in me. Thank you again for reading. And leave a review! Thanks! Foox**_


End file.
